Being an introvert around the holidays can be tough.  If you’re like me, there will be some obligatory family dinners in your near future, filled with raucous conversation, awkward questions, and, hopefully, a lot of wine.

I love my family, but being in a large  group of people with varying personality types can be tricky for us introverts. So, I’m going to give you some tips and tools to help you navigate the holidays and hopefully enjoy the festivities.  

Preparedness is key for any social endeavor. Even if it’s with people who you’ve known your entire life. Consider your clothing carefully. We all want to look cute for those holiday dinners, but by choosing attire that is comfortable to wear for a long period of time can aid in your overall comfort.  If you’re wearing those skinny jeans that don’t lend themselves to a turkey dinner, your physical discomfort will definitely affect your emotional state.

The Adventurers are always promoting the use of music to help our anxiety. While you may not be able to listen to what you want AT dinner, you can crank out any playlist you want while getting ready for it. Starset is almost always my go-to band in the hours leading to anxiety-producing situation. They get me into the right headspace and ready to face anyone or thing.  

Know your audience. Growing up Italian-American, we know we have to be polite, make the rounds, talk to everyone,and say goodbye for 3 hours. But that doesn’t mean that the majority of your time can’t be spent with the people whose energy makes you feel most at ease. Be open for anyone to join the conversation, but allow yourself to gravitate to where you feel the most comfortable.  

Find your respite. Another important step the Adventurers are always suggesting is finding a place to reset.  This doesn’t make you an antisocial weirdo. Remember, introverts gain energy when they’re alone, so it’s natural to feel depleted when spending a significant amount of time with a large group. Give yourself permission to take a short break from the festivities.  Check your phone for messages, go to an infrequently used bathroom. Step outside if the weather is agreeable. Give yourself a chance to recharge so you can regain some energy for the rest of the night.  

People often view introverts as being a little odd, unusual, or even antisocial.  Even your family might not totally understand you, especially if they’re natural extroverts.  As such, introverts are often confronted with a series of awkward and unnecessary questions about their life and how they’re living it, especially when around people they don’t see very often.  Therefore holiday dinners can be extra anxiety-inducing when you know these questions are coming. Take a few minutes alone or with close friends to prepare your responses as though you’re going into a press conference.   

…because let’s be honest, you kind of are!